Polygamy and Such ~ Abimelech

Gideon's family was huge. From what was recorded in the book of Judges, it seems that he had 72 sons (Judges 8:30, 9:24). Obviously Gideon had more than one wife. He had many. Abimelech was one of his sons from a maidservant concubine. He was very ambitious and when Gideon died, he was determined in his mind to become king.  Gideon had refused the kingship because he believed that it was God that was their ultimate authority. Abimelech killed all of Gideon's sons except Jotham (Gideon's youngest) who escaped, in order to claim the title of king.

Raising 2 or 3 kids is a challenge. I can imagine 72+ (I'm sure there were some girls born too) children with several wives incurred tremendous pressure and problems.  Polygamous marriages started with Lamech, one of Cain's sons. (Genesis 4:19). It became common. Even some great men like Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon had multiple wives which became problematic for all of them.

I read somewhere that God looked past polygamy in the Old Testament so that the world would be populated.  The definition of marriage was set from the beginning! God heart for marriage is recorded in Genesis 2:24:

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 

It is pretty clear and simple.  God is love and there is no dark side to him at all. He wants the best for his people and he designed life in the richest and fullest way so that problems would be minimal. He also gave mankind free-will choice. Man can accept or reject God's abundance. It is a choice.

When man goes his own way, it is not God's fault; it is man's problem. When things don't work out well, no one can blame God.  He has provided. It is man that walks away from abundance when he thumbs his nose at the gifts and blessings of God.

God is not some old crank control-freak. If somehow that idea has creeped into your thinking it is important to get to know God the way he really is. You can't love and trust someone that you don't know. The Word of God is the best way to do that.  It is great to just read through the various records and ask God to show you what you need to know to build a relationship with the Father and his son. We can get robbed of the relationship privilege, if we constantly lean on others to keep us in the loop.

The book of Judges is full of human drama and the Hebrews were constantly going through up and down cycles between belief and unbelief. Human nature is in full view in it's records. It is much like human nature today. It is a daily, hourly, minute by minute walk. God responded when they came back to him. He helped them get out of the situations they got into when they honestly humbled themselves and asked for help. God still does the same today!

Relationship - as it is fit in the Lord

Recently, I was reading through Colossians and I came upon a verse that stuck out like a 'healed

thumb'!

 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Colossians 3:18

The word that stopped me alive in my tracks was the word 'fit' so I decided to look it up.  Guess what? It means fit (like suitable)! Nothing earth shattering!  As I looked at the immediate context, I could see that 'in the Lord' goes along with it. Duh! Again that is easy to see.

What is 'fit in the Lord? The Word of God contains all wisdom that pertains to life, so whatever is fitting about the husband and wife relationship has got to be in there. The larger, whole context for the word needs to be taken into account, not an isolated verse here and there. Any person can make the word say what he wants it to say by taking things out of the setting of the whole Bible.

So how about the very first husband/wife relationship? In the beginning God set everything up and then turned around and said that it was all very good.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Eve was given a brain and had thinking capabilities, along with (uh-oh) free-will choice. If God made her that way in the beginning, he must of had a reason!

Galatians 3:28 is breathtaking:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

There are  many examples of outstanding women in the Bible like Debra, Sarah, Hannah, Ruth, Esther, Mary, Pricilla, Phebe, Junia, Lydia, Mary Magdalene and numerous other women.

Mary is a great example of submitting as it is 'fit' in the Lord. When the angel told Mary about the child she was to bear did she run to Joseph and say: "Honey I need to run something by you."?  Why didn't God go first to Joseph and tell him what he needed and then tell Joseph to discuss this with Mary? God worked with each of them individually. She submitted to Joseph as it was 'fit' in the Lord. Joseph also  responded as it was 'fit' in the Lord.   Joseph helped Mary do what God had called her to do.

Every marriage has a unique footprint, that is what becoming one flesh is all about. It involves commitment, work and believing in the 'Christ in' each other. Each individual person has a unique way to minister to others and each marriage is a melding of two separate callings into a mutual arrangement. The spirit of God works through the wife and works through the husband:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-13 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

 To submit one to another is to have a relationship arrangement. Women are different from men and have different capabilities. Adam and Eve were designed to complement and help one another.   Marriage is a decision to have a permanent relationship. Every marriage is different, because two different individuals are brought together to figure out how to operate as a unit. It is fascinating!

The act of submission defined in the Bible can effect any relationship, not just a married couple.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear (reverence) of God. Epehsians 5:21 

Individuals are different and have different attributes, characteristics, skills, culture, upbringing and chemistry. Submission doesn't mean 'you are the boss of me'. Leadership is such a big word today, but biblically is is synonymous with servanthood. God's word is the standard and guidepost.  'Doormat' theology is not the point, it is about  the art and love of serving with recognition of the individuality of a person's heart. Bottom line, 'submission' is dealing with each other where the focus is not 'all about me'. It is true in marriage; it is true in any relationship. Jesus Christ is the best example and the reason for every season, not just the holidays.

'Male and Female Created He Them"

In the first chapter of Genesis, in a general description of creation, there is a reference to the creation of man:

²⁷ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

God created Adam out of the dust of the ground. God then took some of Adam and made Eve. These days everyone is worried about equality. God had no problem with equality. The first two humans were made out of the same stuff. This is reflected in the New Testament also:

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. 

We are all made of the same stuff.

God is spirit (John 4:24) not flesh. When God was talking about creating man in His own 'image', He wasn't referring to physical flesh. 'Image' is something that represents something else; it is what is perceived.  When God created male and female he meant that they would reflect Him. They would be the image of Him. God is love and man or woman can represent God's love. God is light and man or woman can represent His light. God is powerful and humans can represent His power.

I John 4:16,17 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 

In Genesis chapter 2 verse 24, God fills in the details of His human creation and says they were to become 'one flesh'. What does God mean when he says 'shall be one flesh'? It must mean something more than just producing an Eve from a piece of Adam.

Genesis 2:23-24 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

Two shall move as one. Men and women are not alike in the sense that they have characteristics that are distinctly male or female. God designed Eve as a help meet for Adam.  The word 'meet' is 'suitable'.  Eve was Adam's complement.  To become 'one flesh', a relationship must develop based on love and respect in order to move as one.

In the garden of Eden, things got messy when the whole incident with the serpent occurred. The consequences of that mess had it's affects on the male/female relationship. Conflict, blame and pressure were added to the mix. This always happens when someone adds, subtracts and changes God's Word.

God didn't change and His word doesn't change. Humans have a choice: to believe or not to believe.

Marriages in Genesis

Maj. Gen. Patrick Brady, U.S. Army (ret.) recently said:
"I have said, and many men agree with me, that Adam’s rib was the greatest investment in human history. Why? Because God then gave man woman, a different creature, who complemented him. God did it on purpose, and we are privileged to live with the differences. Feminists et al., get over it. It is not discrimination to accommodate God’s design; it is acknowledging His will – it is wisdom."(reference)

In Genesis, God mentions several husband and wife teams: Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah and Isaac and  Rebekah. If you read through their records, the complementation can be clearly seen. Jacob's life was a little more messy as he had two wives to deal with. On his Facebook profile under 'Relationship Status' he would have had to write: 'It's complicated'!

Originally God gave Adam a 'help meet'. 

Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

The words 'help meet' are clearly about a complementer. The words in Hebrew are 'ezer kenegdo' which means 'helper' 'in the sight of', 'opposite to' 'in front of' and ''suitable'. Some translations translate these words as 'helper suitable to'. In the Greek Septuagint these words are translated 'bonthon kata' or 'helper according to him'. To be a 'suitable' helper means there is complementation in that as a need arises, something else provides a help or support. (See Acts 27:17 'helps' for this word)

When we read through the records of these pairs in Genesis, there are many examples of  how they complemented each other, not only physically (which is obvious), but mentally and spiritually as well. We can see it very clearly with situations involving their children: Isaac and Ishmael; Jacob and Esau.

Sometimes husband can be right and the wife wrong (Samson and Delilah). At other times the wife can be right and the husband wrong (Abigail and Nabal). When both are wrong, things are not the best (just look at Adam and Eve). When both carry out God's word in their lives, it is very powerful (ex. Priscilla and Aquila).

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

1 + 1 + God is very powerful. Even if you are not married this applies. We all need friends to speak those things that are suitably helpful to us (Esther and Mordecai example).

In marriage, when two people commit to a lifelong relationship, there is always pressure.   Each has the potential for good as well as evil. No one is perfect and we have to understand that when there is disagreement. There is nothing wrong with disagreement when it is ultimately handled with wisdom from God. Sometimes it takes a little bit of work and time to get to this point (there are several example of this with the Genesis pairs). It is God's word and His spirit that resides within us that sorts it all out. There are rich rewards in pulling together for good.