Marriage and Family Life -It's Complicated - David

David was a great man. As he rose up to help deliver Israel from its enemies, he gained in stature.  At the same time, his family expanded and so did the complications. From the Old Testament, we know that David had more than 8 wives, more than 20 children.  As I read on in II Samuel, the rivalries and pressure seem to come more and more from the family.

I am reminded of the disfunction in Jacob's family. Polygamy causes problems and was not part of God's original creation. It was initiated into culture by one of Cain's offspring. It became part of the culture in succeeding generations. It was part of the culture at David's time. Polygamy was not in God's design when he put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Whenever something isn't the best in a given situation, it gets 'complicated' carrying with it burdens and pressures.

God placed Adam in the garden to work and enjoy. He made Eve to be a 'help meet' as a strong support, under-girder and companion. The marriage relationship is a unique godly arrangement. God made men and women to be different, yet equal.

'Different, yet equal' is a big deal.  It is not 'same and equal'; it is not 'different and unequal'.  In the feminist movement we see a blurring of 'different and same' and the other side of that is the blurring of 'equal and unequal'. In addition to this, every individual, male or female, has distinct traits, abilities and upbringing. The bottom line for all relationships is love and respect if it is going to be a genuine relationship.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33

We should certainly not let the confusion of the world determine our definitions of love or respect. Hollywood or even Hallmark movies should not be defining love for us. God is the author of love. Respect or reverence is for the person. We should be respectful to one another in all our dealings.  This does not include respect for beliefs and ideologies if we disagree. Every person has a right to believe whatever they want to believe, but no one has a right to force us to believe what we don't think is right. This goes for marriage relationships and adult family relationships. In fact it is the standard for all adult relationships.

If verse 33 in Ephesians 5:33 is to be the standard for marriage, polygamy would obviously put a strain on a marriage.  Raising 20 kids with 8 different mothers would definitely be tough. God made things so simple because he loves us. Man has complicated things throughout the ages with his own inventions and excuses.